Elevator pet peeve

My office is on the third floor.

I usually park my car at B1. That's one floor below the ground floor.

Which means from the car park, I go past 3 floors to reach my office.

I use the elevator to go to my office.



The above explanation is needed for those who've never been on an elevator before, so have no idea how it works, or why you should use one. Probably readers from Papua New Guinea, or those people who work on the first floor of the same building of my office.


To explain further.

The elevator is a marvelous invention of the 18th century. Or a few centuries before or after that. Or something like that.

Legend has it that a man by the name of Elly Waiter was walking up the stairs to the 15th floor of a pagoda to meet with his Holiness the Dalai Lama. Or someone as important as that. Half-way there, on the third floor (he really sucks at math), totally exhausted from stairs walking, he screamed "Fuck it! I'm inventing the elevator, and I'm naming it after me!".
And then the elevator was invented.


Beautiful story. Ahem.


ANYWAYS, most of us intelligent people know how to use an elevator. But there are those strange creatures that migrated from Papua New Guinea who works on the first floors of office buildings everywhere who doesn't!! Yea, right. The horror!

These people comes into the elevator on Ground Floor (G) to go up to their office at First Floor (1). For those not very good in maths, that's ONE floor up. ONE FUCKING FLOOR.

Why the heck do you need to use the elevator to go one floor up?! The ancient invention, the fucking stairs, is just 5 steps away! Believe me, it's there. I've used it before. Don't even get me started on the story of how stairs are invented to make you realise the usefullness of stairs. You don't want me to go there.

The stupidity of those people who use the elevator to go one floor up is only matched by those who use it to go one floor down. In fact, these people should marry each other. It's easier to eliminate them from the gene pool by lumping them together in one family.


Think about it, the elevator has to make two more stops on my way to my office just to accomodate your lousiness at maths!


In conclusion, all these problems are a consequence of our lousy Malaysian education system. So please vote for the opposition in the coming election. Thank you. Good night.