My office is on the third floor.

I usually park my car at B1. That's one floor below the ground floor.

Which means from the car park, I go past 3 floors to reach my office.

I use the elevator to go to my office.



The above explanation is needed for those who've never been on an elevator before, so have no idea how it works, or why you should use one. Probably readers from Papua New Guinea, or those people who work on the first floor of the same building of my office.


To explain further.

The elevator is a marvelous invention of the 18th century. Or a few centuries before or after that. Or something like that.

Legend has it that a man by the name of Elly Waiter was walking up the stairs to the 15th floor of a pagoda to meet with his Holiness the Dalai Lama. Or someone as important as that. Half-way there, on the third floor (he really sucks at math), totally exhausted from stairs walking, he screamed "Fuck it! I'm inventing the elevator, and I'm naming it after me!".
And then the elevator was invented.


Beautiful story. Ahem.


ANYWAYS, most of us intelligent people know how to use an elevator. But there are those strange creatures that migrated from Papua New Guinea who works on the first floors of office buildings everywhere who doesn't!! Yea, right. The horror!

These people comes into the elevator on Ground Floor (G) to go up to their office at First Floor (1). For those not very good in maths, that's ONE floor up. ONE FUCKING FLOOR.

Why the heck do you need to use the elevator to go one floor up?! The ancient invention, the fucking stairs, is just 5 steps away! Believe me, it's there. I've used it before. Don't even get me started on the story of how stairs are invented to make you realise the usefullness of stairs. You don't want me to go there.

The stupidity of those people who use the elevator to go one floor up is only matched by those who use it to go one floor down. In fact, these people should marry each other. It's easier to eliminate them from the gene pool by lumping them together in one family.


Think about it, the elevator has to make two more stops on my way to my office just to accomodate your lousiness at maths!


In conclusion, all these problems are a consequence of our lousy Malaysian education system. So please vote for the opposition in the coming election. Thank you. Good night.

I should have written this sooner. If I did, I would have been rich, famous, fat, bald as a turtle, divorced twice and living the high life by now. Anyway, that's how successful people end up, don't they?

The other day, my colleague mentioned a book by some Chinese author with a title that translates to something like this: "It's not that you can't, you don't know how to". I could have written the book.

This is supposed to be Wahoo' s Second Law. Let me repeat it again:

It's not that you can't, it's just that you don't know how to, yet

Wahoo's First Law: We live in our own Matrix

If you've been reading me, you'd know that I've been writing a lot of self-help/positive thinking/motivation stuffs in my recent posts. It doesn't really help much in increasing my blog's readership but I have this innate hunger for all things 'self-nourishing' and would pay any price towards a path of self-awareness and growth. So what better way to do that than to blog about it as a way of cataloging and organizing all that's in my tiny brain. I'm a self-obsessed bastard. I know.
But then again, aren't we all?

It's like a coming out of the closet thing for me, all this writing about success and fulfillment stuffs. So I really like to let you know that it means a lot to me that you're reading my writings and that you appreciate the awesomeness of the knowledge I reveal to you. I also believe with unfaltering certainty when the day comes I'm publishing my first book, you'd be bulldozing your way to the book store to grab a copy of my bestseller to be, to experience the physical form of an awesomeness unmatched for a long time to come.

That's the image of my visualization sessions these days. But that's the topic for another day.


Disclaimer


I hope you realise what I'm going to tell you can change your life in the most mind blowing way possible. Or it's going to mess up you brain you swear someone poked your head with a screwdriver and scrambled everything inside your skull.

What I'm going to do is to render some very convenient excuses you've used your whole life to protect your ego useless.
If you understand it correctly, you'll feel responsible for every single shit that happened to you, and all those that are going to happen. If you're able to handle it, the power that comes with it is surreal. If you can't, you'll remain as what you are, a complainer and a 'victim' of life.

I hope you know I'm being harsh on you, as I'm being harsh on myself. There is no use for excuses in life. When you can be honest with yourself, you can start living your life.

let's get back to Wahoo's second law and it's awesomeness.


What the heck does it mean?

What it's saying is this: Whatever you want to do in life, you can do it. If you ever feel you can't, it's not that you can't, you just don't know how to.

It's not a question of capability, it's a question of strategy

Moments when we're stuck with an impossible situation is common. We all know the feeling of reaching a place where you're not able to proceed to the next level. The reasons are many: lack of skills, lack of experience, being too young, being too old, someone stopping you, the situation does not permit, responsibilities, and so on and so forth.



References can change your life.

The thing is, whenever someone give me a reason they are not able to do something, I can think of an example where someone in a similar situation did just what's supposed to be impossible. Even if I can't think of any examples, I know and believe it's out there. I just have to look for it and learn from it to enable me to do whatever it is I want to do.

Ask yourself: Is it really the impossibility of things or are we lacking in the department of having good references.

A reference = examples of situations we come to know of.

The first thing that will help you is understanding this:

The quality of your life depends on the quality of your references

Let's say you lived in a small village in Africa your whole life. By the time you're 18 years old, you've picked the most beautiful girl in the village and got married. You lived the happiest days of your life with your beautiful wife until you're 21 years old. Then you received an omen from the stone god in a wet dream one night prompting you to make a decision to leave the village to venture to Malaysia, a supposedly heavenly country where you will live your destiny of bringing enlightenment to the leaders of this country on their boastful and lustful ways. After getting rid of these bozos called politicians, you will be elected king and live a rich and revered life with 20 wives and 200 concubines. Ahem. When you did make your trip and reach Malaysia, you realized you've never seen such beautiful people in your whole life! Even the 40 years old aunty sweeping the streets is more beautiful than your young wife back in Africa. Shocked by the discovery, you had an heart attack and died.

My story is a bit over the top in the imagination department but it does illustrate my point. When you think you've tasted the most tasty 'bak kut teh' ever, have you really? How many other 'bak kut teh' shops have you not tried? The best 'bak kut teh' in Ipoh does not even compare to the worst one in Klang.

When you say you can't do something, are you referring to the the lack of idea as to how to do it or is it that you're doubting your ability?

Normally, you feel you can't mainly because of one of these two reasons:

1) You've never seen anyone successfully doing it.
2) You've only seen a lot of people fail at doing it.


Have you heard of the four minute mile story? It's a true story that illustrate the importance of having a good reference for your success.

Up until 1954, it was believed that man do not have the physical ability to run 1 mile in under 4 minutes. Sport's specialist and physicians would testify that the human body do not have the ability to achieve this feat. This created a belief system so strong that it kept the four minutes barrier from being broken. In 1954, Roger Banister became the first man to break the four minute mile barrier, clocking 3'59".4. That same year, 37 other people broke it. The following year, more than 300 people broke the four minute mile.

Now how does a record that's been thought to be impossible to break for hundreds of years can suddenly be broken by so many people at such a short period of time?
Did something change in the body of these people giving them the superhuman strength to do the impossible? Did time slow down to suddenly allow more people to run faster? Do you want to slap me for saying these ridiculous things?

The only change that happened is there is a new reference for these runners. Suddenly the excuse that the human body cannot run one mile in four minutes seems like a heap of bollocks. From the pile of stinkiness that is the beliefs of these runners, rise a new belief that the human body is not just awesome, but can also run a mile in less than four minutes.


Capability vs strategy

If you think you can't, it's simply that you do not know the right strategy to do something.
What you need to do is to install a new strategy, that is one of learning. Anything that you can't do at the moment will become possible if you decide to learn to do it.

I have this belief: Anything can be learned! ANYTHING.

If you think you can't, you're either too lazy or too hard on yourself!

Sometimes, I hear some people complaint that some things are just too hard to learn. It might take forever or need herculean efforts. The question is: are you using the right strategy?

Ask a better question instead: How do I learn it faster, and enjoy the process?


Note to self: 'The power of questions' is the topic of my next post.


'And' vs 'Or'

Sometimes it's a matter of asking the right questions and using the right strategy. I've learned the power of 'and' mindset versus 'or' mindset in a T. Harv Eker workshop.

For example: There is a RM10 in my left hand and RM100 in my right hand. If I ask you to choose, which one would you choose?
You're smart if you choose the RM100 note, but you're smarter if you choose both! Whoever told you you can't have both? Or even to take the RM1000 in my pocket?

Think about these:

I cannot be rich, healthy, happy and fulfilled at the same time.
I must choose between family or wealth.
I cannot be doing what I'm passionate about and expect to be rich at the same time.
Politicians are all crooks. If I want to be a politician, I must learn to be a crook.

Are you operating with the 'or' mindset or 'and' mindset?
Why would anyone sane be choosing between being rich and having a loving and happy family? Why do you even have to choose between these two?!

Always know that there are a better way of doing things. Also, always know the difference between learning from success and learning from failure.

If you tell me it's impossible to have wealth and a loving family at the same time and quote me various examples of people you've met or even admire who are rich but do not have a loving family life, or vice versa, I know you're learning from failures. My advice would be to go out there and search for new references. Look for people who are rich, successful, have a loving family an learn from them instead!

It is the most ridiculous thing in the world but I swear so many people do it. It's almost funny how many people tend to learn from failures than from success.

If you want to be successful, learn from examples of success, if you want to fail, learn from examples of failure

The time factor

I have come to believe that anything is possible in life. Anything you want to achieve, there is a way to it. If you can't do it now, it's because you lack the knowledge and strategies. And the most powerful tool you have is your ability to learn. We can learn almost anything we want to, also with the right strategy.

There is a final frontier to explore, the sole limiting factor in the equation of success: time.

The truth is, you can't be doing everything at the same time. Time spent doing A is irreplaceable and can't be used to do B. Even though it's possible to achieve almost anything you want, you have only so much time to invest in. If you live to be 80, you have only 80 years to spend. Make good use of that time.



So the question you should be asking instead of 'Can I do it?', 'Am I capable enough?' is 'Should I invest my time learning to do this?' or 'Is it worth my time doing this or is there a better option to get the same results?'.

Don't even think about whether you can, just assume you can, and think of 'Is it worth my time?'.

Ah, I suddenly feel the urge to to do a review on my life. Like what people do when they reach the middle years of their life.

I'm going to be 30 this coming August.

Ok, 30 might be too young to be considered 'middle years'. I intend to live until 130. According to the Ayurveda life preservation technique I've learned, 130 is the minimum I'm aiming for.

But 30 to 50 years old is supposedly the golden years, where you start to get a taste of achievements in life, as you've accumulated some experiences and started building up your career and/or family. Then, there is the possibility of this stage being a period of crisis, as you relook your life and find out: "Shit, I'm not supposed to be doing this, but I'm stuck here!", thereby creating what would normally be known as a mid-life crisis.

But I'm far from having a mid-life crisis period. At 30, I'm too young to have a mid-life crisis. I think. That's why this is the perfect time to look at my life and make decisions as not to have one in the near future.

At 30, I feel young and old at the same time. It's a strange age to be in. It's like reaching a crossroad in life. Where you're force to make decisions that would chart the course of your life, changing it forever. The consequences of a decision at this stage seems so much more, should I say, far-reaching and heavy, but at the same time exciting, when you put your imagination on the things to come.

But I also believe you should not take life too seriously. A life not enjoyable is a life not worth living. Period. Therein lies my interest in humour and comedy. To sidestep on the topic a little, humour is an imperative prerequisite to creativity, problem solving and emotional management. The most successful people I've met in life has uncanny abilities for generating and recognizing humour and using it to uplift the emotions of people around them. We refer to them as having charisma.

At 30, life seems to have just whizzed by.

I'm thankful for the experiences life has thrown to me, all the love exchanged and shared with family members, friends I've acquainted with along the way, mistakes I've had the privilege to grow upon. Life tasted sweet at times, sour at times and bitter at particular appropriate moments. Which is all good.

Work is stressful at the moment. But I'm reminded again of a great truth by a colleague today. That crisis reveals character, thereby provides an opportunity for growth.

Favourite quote at the moment: 'If you can't, then you must'. The philosophy of 'stretch'.

Here aresome things I'd like to do before I die:

1) Give a talk to an audience of at least 500 people.
2) Write a best-selling book.
3) Sleep with a supermodel.
4) Learn to fly a plane or helicopter.
5) ******
6) ******
7) and so on and so forth...


Don't ask. Life is a work in progress.

Chinese New Year is a time for reunions. During these reunions, we'd be able to meet up with schoolmates we rarely keep in touch with, some only appears once a year during these nostalgic gatherings. Since leaving school, most of us embarked on different course of life, some according to our passion, but most because of convenience.

The need to meet up with old acquaintance and gauge their progress in life suddenly flares up during Chinese New Year.

For those who've achieved more than their peers, it's a time to flaunt their status symbols (big cars, Tag Heuers, flashy namecards, sexy girlfriends, etc)

And those doing not so well as compared to their school buddies, its time to lament on the state of economy, that bastard you call boss, life's impossible circumstances that makes you stay where you are, instead of being great.


I know it feels natural to want to compare with the people you grow up with, schoolmates, or even siblings. But is the act of comparing doing you good or is it counter productive?






Why we do it?

Because scientific research has identified a gene that fuels competition among homo sapiens, in order to maintain its evolutionary advantage, so to speak.


Ok, that was just bullshit. haha..



The real reason is more because of social and cultural conditioning than genetic, it's because from young, we were trained to compare ourselves with others. There are two main culprits:

1) Our parents
Its an easy way out for our parents to compare us with our siblings. Its a way to control our behaviour. Familiar with these?:

'Why can't you be more hardworking like your sister?"
"Why can't you keep your room clean like your brother?"
"Why can't you be more organized like your brother?"


It is not the correct way to teach behavior, but our parents uses it because they think it sets a higher standard for us to aspire to. The fact is, all of us are unique, and we shouldn't be expected to act like someone else. There are other ways to motivate a child into better behaviors. Comparing them with other people, especially their siblings, does more harm to a child's self-esteem than help build it.

2) Our education system

In school, we were graded based on the same 'test system', which makes comparing easier than ever. You've got 70 marks? Nice. But if you compare it to the class average of 80 marks, you're an underachiever!! See how comparison works? We're constantly striving to achieve a set standard so rigid there can only be ONE standard for all students the same age.

It neglects the fact that all of us learn at a different pace. We are sensitive to different types of teaching methods and teaching materials, we take in information based on our preferred senses: visual , auditory , kinesthetic. Which makes us learn very differently and at different pace.





Comparing seems like a pretty bad idea so far. But is there a positive side of comparing?



Wait, just to digress a little.

When I started thinking about this, I've noticed a very common statement that I hear when someone's comparing himself/herself with others: Life's not fair!


Years later, I learned something that changed my life:

Life's not fair, use that to your advantage!

Stop for a moment and think about that statement. Its one of the most powerful belief I've acquired in the course of searching for the secrets of living a fulfilling life. You can apply it to almost any areas of life.

Once, I thought it was a disadvantage that I was born in a poor family. My dad struggled to keep us all in school and worked his ass off to give us a better life. I remember a time when we were so poor he has to borrow a motorbike from a relative to go to work. He can't afford one, but he still has to go to work to feed 4 children and a wife. We were poor, but we were happy. I always fantasizes what it would be like to be born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Well, even half a silver spoon would be nice. I thought life wasn't fair.

Since then, I have come to realize that life is what it ought to be. I would, and should not have it any other way.

Life gives you exactly the things and environment you need, to learn the lessons you need to, if you know how to recognize it.

It was only because of those experiences that I treasure my family, value the ideals of financial freedom, started to have a keen interest of how life works. Life IS not fair! Life gave me so much of advantage, I just need to recognize and take advantage of it!


You can use this if you're:

Rich
Poor
Short
Tall
Born with a disability
Unbelievably good looking
Looks like a cow
Looks like a chicken, and so on and so forth..

The truth is: Whatever situation you're in. Life has given you advantage because you have the unique experience that nobody else have. This gives you the chance to see things that the people on the other side of the fence do not see.
The next time you complain of a situation that seems unfair, think about what lessons you're given the chance to learn.


Back to the question:

To compare or not to compare?

I've spent a lot of time thinking and researching about this too.

The answer is: Yes and No.

You were kinda expecting that huh ;p

Remember my post on 'the self-belief paradox'? Everything worth knowing in life comes in a paradox.

Let me spare you the long-winded explanation and give you the nugget right away:

Treat life as a race against yourself.

Alright, do you really think I'll not indulge on a long-winded discussion? Silly you.

Life works the best if you think of it that way(I mean the statement). This statement suggest you should not always compare yourself with other, because whatever achievements of other people does not affect your life. This statement is so powerful because it solved the riddle of 'How to deal with failure/ the fear of failure' for me. I'll write about it someday.

This statement implies:

The only person you should be comparing with is yourself.

Don't treat others achievements as a yardstick of what you should achieve, because all of us has unique life experience and challenges that makes us who we are, and not the other person.

Worry about making improvements in your life today vs yesterday, tomorrow vs today rather than vs other people. This is the key to being great at anything! Making daily incremental improvements.

This is the reason why some people become great and some stays on the same forever! Some people are stuck at a particular level in life forever. Look back in your life 5 years ago, do you still think the same way, act the same way and produces the same results? Big suprise! How much have you learned during the last five years? Have you expended your knowledge, your mindset to facilitate a better you? Look at you life now. Results don't lie. Your life is your results!


So if comparing with others gives you a sense of helplessness or disappointment, do the smart thing: Stop comparing.



So when you realize life is not being fair to you when you're comparing with someone you think don't deserve the things or achievements they have, how do you take advantage of that? (Remember again: Life's not fair, use that to your advantage.)


If they are more successful, worry about what you can learn from them instead of envying them. Envy can be a very powerful and helpful emotion if you know how to use it. Use it to recognize there's something you want from that person's life, and learn how they acquired it, and what you can do to acquire it.
It seems simple to me: It's either I envy that person and resent him, or I learn from him whatever he's doing right and try to do better than him.

So when is comparing ok?
Comparing can be a tool to gauge your position in life. Comparing can open up your mind to the possibilities life has to offer. When I read or hear about stories of what people of my age can achieve, it motivates me rather than put me down. It shows me the possibilities if I do the right things and learn the right stuffs. When I hear about stories of disadvantaged people who excels in life, it strips me of all the excuses I've made up for myself for not persuing my dreams and passion.


So how are you doing in the race agianst yourself?

Life's guaranty:

From the moment you were born, you are set to face many uncertainties and challenges in life's bumpy journey. As we grow up, people around you tries to impart upon you wisdom by which to live a happy and fulfilling life, which is always assumed as a life free of problems.

But there is no such thing as a life free of problems, are there?


Imagine this: You're living the life of your dreams. You've got all the money you'll ever need. You're with the one person that's meant to be with you, your other-half/ soul mate. You have a great family. You're in a career/business that is your passion. You have all the money and freedom to do what you want, whenever you want it.
The question is, will you be free of problems?

We all know the answer to be NO. You're still faced with daily challenges of living your life. Poor people will have their financial problems. Rich people will also have their financial challenges, like how to manage their wealth, the effect on economic situations on their business/ wealth. You will also have to manage your life to find the balance of work and family. You'll be working hard to solve the puzzle of how to raise a happy and loving family.

In short, even if you're living the life of your dreams, you'll still be working your ass off solving problems, seeking solutions, looking for ways to do things better, or to avoid future problems.



In fact, successful people face more problems and frustrations than the average people. They are successful because they handle it well.


If a man could have just half of his wishes, he would double his troubles.
-Benjamin Franklin



Maybe the only way to live life free of problems is to live a life of shaved head, vegetarian in diet, up in a monastery far far away from civilization. A life of enlightenment. Maybe.
I don't know because I've never tried. If you have, please let me know.


Fact: You can't change the fact that life is riddled with problems. If you want to consult with people who have no problems in life, you won't find them high up in the mountains, in monasteries. You'd find them buried underground, in your local cemeteries. Yes, they're dead.



The purpose of problems

Problems in life are meant to serve us, if we recognize it as opportunities rather than nuisance.

I was once told: Challenges in life are there to keep those not deserving enough form getting the prize.

So in order to obtain the good things in life, we have to prove that we are worthy. And our worthiness are subjected to tests in the form of problems and frustrations. The next time you encounter problems, it means its time to prove your worthiness for the better things in life.

Also, crisis reveals character. Problems provides opportunities to understand ourselves better and make us face our inner demons. Nothing provides a better chance for us to discover our failings as problems do. It's like someone handing you the key to unlock a limiting belief/character on a silver platter. That someone is 'the problems' you encounter in life.

So why are problems such a debilitating feature in people's life?

Problems creates frustrations. The key to living a happy and fulfilling life is knowing how to handle the frustrations.



Next post: How to handle frustrations, thus getting rid of the problem of 'problems'.

Let's see how much I can write in 15 minutes.

I've not been updating this blog for too long. My readers would think I'm dead or something. I've saved a few topics so I can write when I'm free but never seems to be getting to it.

Been working hard the past few days since coming back from a year end holiday. Big meeting in 2 more days and I don't even have enough sleep! Damn, wasted 5 minutes just writing these craps instead of the topic I want to write about.

Been guilty about not doing something. Heck, guilty is such a useless emotion. I'll write about it someday. I'll do something to make up for it.

*Reminder to self - write about year end trip.



Lets see. I'm going to talk about the problem of 'problems' in life. Heavy topic, this is. One so close to everyone's heart because everyone experiences problems.


Define problem: Unplanned events that fucked up your plans/ things that annoys you(like mosquitos)/ things that caused you inconveniences, drive you up the wall, pisses you off....etc.


Bottom line: You must get to a point where you see problems as a part of life. It is a signal that let you know that either something should be done another way or you should change your perspective in a looking at a particular situation. It is nothing more than that.


What problems are NOT:

1) A punishment from god - karma, maybe...explore further on your own (Need another blog post to explain this)

2) Bad luck - there's no such thing as good or bad luck in this world. Things happens. Whether you felt good or bad about anything does not change the fact that it happened. Also, all events are meaningless. We give it meaning by our individual interpretation.

3) I've finished my quota of 15 minutes.....tune in next time for more..... ;p

Now if you feel like wanting to poke me in the eye cause this post is half finished, then it is a problem, and that makes you need to read the next part of this post. So pls come back again soon. haha.



to be continued.......