The KLG Invasion

They’re here. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

I’m sorry. I got carried away. But I feel like I need to tell you this. I kept telling myself that this means something. I just want to be the first person to give the world a warning if it turned out to be true. Nothing of this sort has ever happened before, at least, not to my memory.

Actually, I have this theory which I pushed to the back of my mind a while back, because of the sheer absurdity of it. I want to share it with you now. Why you? Of all the things to do in the world, you chose to waste your time hanging around my blog, reading this. This makes me feel, in a weird way, connected to you. In fact, I feel so close to you now, at the same time vulnerable. It’s like we’re standing naked in front of each other, an arm’s length apart, and I keep seeing you as Angelina Jolie.
Ok, maybe not the last part, but can’t a man have fantasies once in a while?!

Back to my theory:

Fellow earthlings, I believe we’re under attack. From whom (or what) I’m not so sure, but I assure you they’re here, amongst us! I believe this is only the first wave, an initial fleet to ‘test the water’, and soon, droves of ‘them/it’ will swarm over us, and by then, there will be no escape.

It makes perfect sense Ipoh was the choice for this initial fleet of invaders. We’re a quiet little town, peaceful people. We would never suspect anything. They would have gathered whatever intelligence they have to, pat their buttocks and left without making a fuss.

There is no other logical explanation. These buggers just popped up out of nowhere. I swear to you. One day we’re still peaceful (almost dead) little Ipoh town, and the next thing you know, these generic KFC restaurants, calling themselves KLG (yea, the originality), and even spotting the same appearance (the white, blue and red of a typical KFC restaurant) started sprouting everywhere around town like mushrooms after rain.


First sighting: If you’re far enough, you’ll probably mistaken this sign as one showing the way to another KFC restaurant. I certainly did.



KFC lookalike, with Colonel Sanders replaced by a ‘surprised/confused looking’ chicken. How original. (Falim)


Well, they look as harmless as chickens, you say. But I assure you, what we’re able to see from the outside could be excellent job of covering up for some bizarre operations behind the counter. The blatant display of plagiarism of the designs of these restaurants very well proves my point. I mean, if you didn’t really take a careful look, you might walk into one of these restaurant to order your regular ‘hot and spicy chicken’ or ‘zinger burger’.

Just how can a business with this much money to invest (looking at the total number of restaurants and the short period of time they have come into existence) had given so little thought into the design and branding of its business that it confuses customers into mistaking it as part of a well established chain restaurants? Cannot be, right? Will someone tell me, am I living in China or something? Has ‘someone up there’ decided to ‘move’ the whole Ipoh town to China and I’m the only person who hasn’t realize it?


Why does the bloody chicken look so surprised? And why does the ‘G’ look so much like a ‘C’? To further confuse us with the other restaurant? (Ipoh garden)



This photo look distorted because I was driving at high speed when I snap this shot. I know, I’m dangerous. (Fair Park)


Another thing that gave away their evil scheme is the quality of their food. Although I’ve never tasted it before, according to reliable sources, two words sums up what their foods taste like: It sucks!! They seem to be doing nothing right. I mean, how can this be? No genuinely operating restaurant can be this bad.

Another one! We’re doomed! (Ipoh Jaya)

From what I’ve gathered, there are at least 6 (that I know of) of these restaurants in town. All of them appeared out of the blue in a span of 2 months. The way these restaurants appeared at prime locations simultaneously reminds me of the movies ‘Independence day’ and ‘Wars of the worlds’. Then, I was thinking to myself: ‘It’s happening! Its really happening!’ They are just waiting for the right time to strike us. The only thing stopping them is, maybe an official command from their ‘headquarter’, and once they’ve got that too, we’re tossed!

There. This is the least I can do, to expose them so you can save yourself before its too late. I'm taking a big risk by doing this. So, if I suddenly disappear one day, you would have a hint what fate have befallen me.
If I do go missing, the next time you order your chicken burger at a KLG restaurant, it might not be chicken meat you're eating.