How to make a wimp out of your kids

It is the hardest thing to do.

I see people holding on when they shouldn't in so many areas in life.

The other day, I had a discussion with 2 friends about parenting.

Let me tell you, I'm not married. I don't have any kids. In case you're wondering.

Btw, me and the other friend who's also not married are the ones giving out parenting advice to this poor parent of two kids. Haha..

You see, my reasoning is that because I don't have any kids, that's why I'm qualified to give out parenting advice.

O_o (always wanted to type this icon ;p)

Now you must be thinking I'm drunk behind this monitor.

I don't drink and type. You shouldn't too.

But seriously, my logic is that if you're a parent, you'd already have the emotional burden of a parent. Sometimes, you need a different perspective.

So parents, sit your ass down and get ready to receive some sagely wisdom from mua.

What I'm talking about is parents being overprotective. You should learn the ability to let your children decide even when you don't totally agree with them. The ability to let your child experience life and make mistakes on their own. Now I'm going to skip the discussion of what age should your children be when you should do that, cause that will take like, forever. Just exactly how much control should they have on important decisions at what age? I found a workable formula at this blog though.




Think about this:

Do you follow your kids everywhere including their schools field trips? (I know of some who follows their children secretly!). I feel I can't blame them for this one cause of the current safety concerns. I don't feel safe myself. I also know someone who will be with their kids the whole time during their teakwondo lessons, to watch over them, scared they'll get hurt.

Do you also stick to your kids like a piece of plaster when they go to the:

a) Playground
b) Sports lessons
c) Extra curriculum activities.




What's more important?

The greatest skill your child can develop is the ability to make good decisions. If you decide everything for your child, you stunt their growth in decision making. However immature or inexperienced you think they are, you need to include them when deciding things concerning them.

Also, your child needs to learn to cope with emotional setbacks. You can't do this for them, and you can't protect them from it forever. They need to learn to handle the emotional aspect of everyday problems themselves. The earlier you start them on the journey of emotional mastery, the better set they are for life and it's challenges.



Why it's bad.

Overprotective parents are producing a generation of wimps. Kids that do not even have skinned knees are missing out a lot on physical bonding that our generation went through. There are dire consequences of holding on to your kids, trying to steer them from harms way. They should be doing that themselves. The trick is to educate and prepare them, NOT preventing them from making mistakes, because mistakes WILL BE MADE ANYWAY. How you prepare your child to handle problems when they messed up is the important thing.

Things can be worse. Psychologists reports that overprotective parents causes anxiety disorders later in adulthood. How? Scared or not?



Really meh? All parents that bad meh?

I hope you realize I'm overgeneralizing here. Of course there are great parents that understand the means of motivating and protecting a child without being too controlling. Salute to all those great individuals, and hope I can be one of them in the future.

But if you're still using the excuse of : "You don't understand lah, you don't have kids. Once you have your own kids, you'll also want to protect them like that la", I just want to say:

Just because I've not died before, doesn't mean I don't know dying is very painful one, ok.